Use The Forks – Star Wars Cooking

USE THE FORKS!
Star Wars Cooking

by Kathy Bejma

Porgs.
What are they? Space penguins? A Nuisance? Food? What I know for sure about them is that they’re super cute, and I like their style.
Along with the caretakers, they seem to be native to Ahch-to where Luke is avoiding everyone and growing his beard. It also appears that at some point they waddle onto the Millennium Falcon, and hilarity ensues. I can’t wait.

I may not know a whole lot about Porgs, but I’m positive that I’ve got Porg fever, and I’ve got it bad! My suggestion to anyone else suffering from the same affliction, is to eat several of these Porg-asbord cookies, and wait for December 15th.

Porg-asbord Cookies

Makes about 30
Ingredients:
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 cups flour, separated
  • 3 Tablespoons cocoa powder
  • brown mini M&Ms
  • black candy melts
  • yellow candy melts
Directions:
1. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the butter and both sugars together.
2. Add egg yolks one at a time, mixing well after each one.
3. Add vanilla and continue to beat until well combined.
4. Divide the mixture into 3 equal parts.
5. Remove 2 of the 3 parts, and place into a separate bowl, and set aside.
6. In the bowl with 1/3 of the original mixture, add 1 cup flour and mix until a dough forms. Set aside.
7. To the bowl with 2/3 of the original mixture, add 1 1/4 cups + 2 Tablespoons flour, and the cocoa powder. Mix until well combined.
8. Place the vanilla dough on a piece of plastic wrap. Roll the dough so it forms a log with a 2 cm diameter.
9. Take your chocolate dough and sandwich it between two pieces of plastic wrap.
10. Using a rolling pin, roll out the dough into a 1.5 cm thick rectangle that’s as long as the vanilla dough log.
11. Now use your rolling pin to flatten the sides of the chocolate rectangle. The middle should remain thick, and the sides should be thinner so that they can wrap around the vanilla dough log. The thick part of the chocolate dough will be the Porg’s head.
12. Place the vanilla dough log on top of the thick part of the chocolate dough, and wrap the thinner sides of the chocolate dough around the vanilla log.
13. Use your fingers to smooth out the crease.
14. Cover the entire log in plastic wrap and refrigerate for about 15 minutes.
15. Preheat your oven to 325 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
16. Once the dough is chilled and firm, remove it from the fridge and slice it into 1/4 inch thick pieces.
17. Place each cookie on a prepared baking sheet.
18. Add two mini M&Ms for eyes, and place your cookies back into the fridge to chill for 10 minutes.
19. Once your cookies have finished cooling, place them in the oven for 12-15 minutes.
20. Allow your cookies to cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.
21. Once your cookies have finished cooling, place the black candy melts into a microwave-safe bowl, and nuke at 30 second intervals until completely melted, stirring after each interval.
22. Repeat with yellow candy melts.
23. Using a piping bag or tooth pick, draw a frowny face and two wings on each cookie with the melted black candy.
24. Use the melted yellow candy melts to pipe or draw two feet on each cookie.
25. *Porg noises*

Use the Forks! – Star Wars Cooking

USE THE FORKS!
Star Wars Cooking

by Kathy Bejma

Thee in luck! This month’s recipe is in honor of Tatooine’s most loveable scumbag, Watto. He’s a mind-trick-proof, elephant-nosed, gambler that knows a lot more than outlanders might think (even if Qui-Gon did outsmart him).
His small junk shop sells everything from a T-14 Hyperdrive Generator to moobian torsion valves. But republic credits aren’t good enough for this Toydarian, only real money!!
Okay… He did own slaves (I said he was a scumbag!) but he wasn’t cruel to Anankin and Shmi. He gave them their own home, and even let little Ani off work early sometimes. And technically, he won them from Gardulla the Elder so it’s really those gangster Hutts that are the problem.
This recipe features black and blueberry gelato with shortbread cookie wings and chocolate jimmies to represent Watto’s beard stubble. If you’re a bigger fan of Attack of The Clones Watto, feel free to use some of the leftover shortbread dough to make a little hat.
Living on Tattooine can be tough, so why not take a break from roasting beneath two suns to enjoy a delicious bowl of Watto Gelato? It’s much more refreshing than a Klatooine paddy frog, probably.
Watto Gelato
Makes 1/2 gallon
Ingredients:
For the Gelato:
  • 2 cups fresh blueberries
  • 1 cup fresh blackberries
  • 1 1/4 cups sugar, divided
  • 2 Tablespoons lemon juice
  • 2 cups milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 3 egg yolks
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup heavy cream
For the cookie wings:
  • 2 sticks butter, room temperature
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla
  • 1/4 teaspoon almond extract
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • chocolate jimmies
Directions:
1. Place the blueberries, blackberries, 1/2 cup sugar, and lemon juice in a food processor and puree until smooth. Set aside.
2. Set a saucepan over medium heat, add the milk and vanilla extract and bring to a simmer. Do not let it boil! It will curdle!
3. While your milk is heating up, whisk together the egg yolks, egg, and 3/4 cup sugar in a medium-sized bowl, until thickened and pale yellow.
4. Very slowly whisk a small amount (about 1/2 cup) of the hot milk mixture into the egg and sugar mixture, to temper the eggs.
5. Slowly whisk the tempered egg mixture into the milk mixture on the stove.
6. Stir constantly until the mixture thickens slightly, just at the point of simmering. Again- Do not let it boil.
7. Remove the pan from the heat. Pour the custard into the bowl of an electric mixer, and let it cool slightly for a few minutes.
8. Add the cream and beat well with a whisk attachment.
9. Add the berry mixture and mix well again.
10. Cover with plastic wrap and chill overnight in the fridge (or for at least 4-6 hours).
11. While the mixture is cooling, make the cookie wings:Preheat the oven to 300°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and set aside.
12. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat together the butter, sugar, vanilla, and almond extract.
13. Add the flour 1/2 cup at a time, beating well after each addition. If your mixture is extremely dry and crumbly (humidity in the air can greatly affect this recipe) dribble in up to 1 tablespoon of water until it comes together. This is a stiff dough.
14. Take a portion of the dough, and roll it out to about 1/4″ thickness.
15. Using a wing-shaped cookie cutter, cut out several wings and place onto your prepared baking sheet.
16. Use a fork to prick the wings all over to allow steam to escape as they bake.
17. Place your wings into the oven and bake for 20 minutes, or until the edges are light brown on top.
18 Allow wings to cool on the pan for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.
19. Once your gelato mixture is completely cool, pour it into an ice cream/gelato maker and follow the manufacturer’s instructions.  My ice cream maker takes about 30 minutes.
I also recommend putting your finished gelato in the freezer for about an hour to let it really harden up before you try to scoop it.
20. To serve: Place several scoops of gelato into a bowl.
21. Add two wings and then sprinkle the bottom of each scoop with chocolate jimmies.
22. Enjoy while betting on a pod race.

Use the Forks! – Star Wars Cooking

USE THE FORKS!
Star Wars Cooking
There are few mysteries in the Star Wars universe bigger than the identity of Rey’s parents. Personally, I’m a fan of the Qui-Gon + Shmi = Rey’s Mom or Dad theory. Mostly because I love Qui-Gon, and “Shmi” is fun to say. Plus that would make Rey a Skywalker, explaining how strong she is with the force. It also explains her Qui-Gon hair in the Last Jedi previews. But if she turns out to be a Kenobi, that would be pretty great too… Is it December 15th yet?!
Back before Rey was piloting the Millennium Falcon, and delivering light sabers to bearded recluses, she spent her days on Jakku living in an abandoned AT-AT Walker. She scavenged for parts, and traded them for portions of spongy Polystarch bread. But don’t worry BB-8, there aren’t enough portions in the entire galaxy to make Rey betray your friendship (even if she did consider it momentarily).
Since we don’t live in a galaxy far, far away, you’ll need the help of your microwave to help this bread rise. It’s more of a sweet bread, than a crusty roll, but it will still provide you with the energy you need to bypass any compressor.
 
Rey’s Portion Bread
Makes 1 portion
Ingredients:
  • 4 Tablespoons cake flour
  • 1 1/2 Tablespoons sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 2 Tablespoons Green Machine Naked Juice
Directions:
1. Spray a ramekin or ceramic mug with non-stick cooking spray.
2. Add cake flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt to the ramekin or mug, and stir until well combined.
3. Stir in Green Machine juice.
4. Microwave on high for 1 minute, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
5. Allow to cool before serving.
6. Enjoy while waiting for your family to return.

Use The Forks! – Star Wars Cooking

USE THE FORKS!
Star Wars Cooking
Poor Greedo.
Every time we see him he’s either getting beaten up by little Anankin Skywalker, getting clunked on the head with a moon goddess statue, or shot (first) by Han Solo and left face-down, sizzling. He just can’t win!
It’s time to cut him a break, and honor him with something delicious and positive. I’m not sure what a typical Rodian’s diet consists of, but perhaps their skin tone is due to their veggie-filled diet. Going on that assumption, I’ve filled this burrito bowl with lots of green goodness: green rice, green salsa, green tomatoes, etc.
So raise a glass of Yatooni Boska to hapless Greedo, and wrap some long, suction-cupped fingers around this deliciously green burrito bowl.

Greedo Burrito Bowl

Makes 4
Ingredients:
  • 1 cup roughly chopped parsley, lightly packed
  • 1/2 cup roughly chopped cilantro, lightly packed
  • 2 large poblano peppers, seeded and roughly chopped
  • 2 Tablespoons chopped onion (about 1/4 of an onion)
  • 2 garlic cloves, chopped
  • 2 1/4 cups vegetable stock, divided
  • 3 Tablespoons canola oil
  • 1 1/2 cups long grain white rice
  • 1 Tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 3/4 onions, sliced
  • 2 green peppers, cut into strips
  • 2 cans black beans, drained & rinsed
  • Green Tortillas
Toppings:
  • Green salsa
  • Guacamole
  • Lettuce, chopped
  • Green tomatoes, diced
  • Chihuahua Cheese with jalapeños
  • Squeeze of lime
Directions: 
1. Make the rice: Place the parsley, cilantro, poblanos, onion, garlic, and 1/2 cup of vegetable stock in a food processor.
2. Pulse until smooth, and set aside.
3. Heat the canola oil in a large pot on high heat.
4. Add the uncooked rice and stir to coat all the grains.
5. Allow the rice to brown slightly, then stir and spread out again, allowing all the rice to brown evenly.
6. Add the parsley/cilantro mixture to the rice, and stir to coat evenly.
7. Allow the rice to cook for 2 minutes.
8. Add the remaining 1 3/4 cup vegetable stock, and bring to a boil.
9. Once the mixture is boiling, reduce the heat to medium and cover.
10. Allow to cook for 15 minutes.
11. Remove from the heat, fluff with a fork, and set aside (keep the lid on).
12. Pre-Heat your oven to 200 degrees F, line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and set aside.
13. In a large non-stick skillet, heat oil over medium high heat.
14. Add onions and peppers, and stir for 5-6 minutes, until softened.
15. Transfer peppers and onions to a bowl, and set aside.
16. Put green tortillas on your lined baking sheet and place into the oven, to warm up.
17. Using the same pan you used for the peppers and onions, add the black beans and heat for about 3-5 minutes over medium heat, stirring until they’re warm.
18. Make your Greedo Burrito Bowl:Remove tortillas from the oven.
19. Line a bowl with a warm tortilla.
20. In the center of the tortilla, layer rice, peppers, onions, black beans, cheese, green salsa, lettuce, tomatoes, and guacamole.
21. Squeeze a little lime juice on top, and serve.
22. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.

Use The Forks! – Star Wars Cooking

USE THE FORKS!
Star Wars Cooking
by Kathy Bejma

In between creepy poisonous millipedes, and discovering a clone army, nothing fuels an investigation better than a cup of Jawa Juice!

I’m willing to bet that the best Jawa Juice on Coruscant can be found at Dex’s Diner. Operated and owned by Obi-Wan’s old friend Dexter Jettster (Well… Whadya know?) it’s the favorite greasy spoon of working class beings. Okay, maybe chef Dex has trouble keeping his pants up, and his shirt clean, but it’s still the first place I’d grab a bite to eat after any space journey.

Instead of fermenting Bantha hide, I decided to keep this recipe simple for a Jedi on the move. I’ve also included a few variations if you’d like to make it a little bit more interesting.

So park your speeder, grab a booth, and let Flo get you a cup of Jawa Juice, hon.

Jawa Juice

Ingredients:

  • Ice Cubes
  • Coca-Cola (or your favorite cola)
  • Brewed Coffee

Directions:

  1. Fill a glass with ice cubes
  2. Pour cola into the cup, filling it about half way.
  3. Fill the rest of the glass with coffee.
  4. Give it a quick stir.
  5. Enjoy while overlooking the health code violations at Dex’s Diner.

Suggested variations: Replace ice cubes with 2 small scoops of vanilla ice cream or replace half the coffee with Kahlúa.

Use The Forks! – Star Wars Cooking

USE THE FORKS!
Star Wars Cooking
by Kathy Bejma

Jabba’s palace may seem like a fun place to visit, with the musical numbers and Throne Room slumber parties, but never forget: The Hutts are gangsters!

If a shady deal goes south, the illustrious Jabba has several ways to ruin your day, including holding you prisoner in a metal bikini that leaves little to the imagination, and making you fight a Rancor for the entertainment of others.

But perhaps the worst thing Jabba can do is take you for a ride on his party skiff to the Pit of Carkoon, and throw you into the mouth of the almighty Sarlacc.

Fortunately for you, you won’t need a light saber, choke chain, or even a Lando in disguise (surprise surprise) to defeat these Sarlacc cupcakes.

Perhaps you can even use them to work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial, and enable you to avoid any unpleasant confrontations.

Sarlacc Cupcakes
Makes 24 cupcakes
Ingredients:
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 3 1/2 oz almond paste (about 1/2 of a typical 7oz tube)
  • 1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 2 teaspoons instant espresso
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon almond extract
  • 3 large eggs
  • 3/4 cup sour cream
  • slivered almonds
  • Twizzler pull-n-peels
  • Milano cookies
Directions:
1. Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees F. Line a cupcake tin with baking cups, and set aside.
2. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
3. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the sugar and almond paste until well combined.
4. Add butter and beat until smooth and creamy.
5. Add vanilla extract, almond extract, and espresso. Beat until combined.
6. With your mixer on low speed, add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.
7. Add the flour mixture in 3 parts, alternating with the sour cream. Beat until well combined.
8. Fill each baking cup about 3/4 full.
9. Bake for 20-22 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of one of the cupcakes comes out clean.
10. Allow the cupcakes to cool in the pan for ten minutes before removing them to a wire rack to cool completely.
11. Once your cakes have cooled, use a paring knife to cut a cone shape from the center of each cupcake. Discard or eat cake cones.
12. Starting at the bottom of the hole, push almond slivers into the cake, around the circumference of the hole to look like teeth (about 4 at the lowest level).
13. Make another level of teeth a little further up in the hole, and keep going until you reach the top. I ended up with 4 layers of teeth.
14. Once all the teeth are in place, cut several Twizzler pull-n-peels to a length of about 2 1/2 inches, and place 3 or 4 into the cavity.
15. Cut a Milano cookie in half, then separate the layers. Trim the sides of the Milano cookie to make it a little bit more narrow.
16. Place the divided Milano cookie halves into the cavity to represent Sarlacc’s (special edition) beak.
17. Slowly digest these cakes over a thousand years, give or take.

Use The Forks! – Star Wars Cooking

USE THE FORKS!
Star Wars Cooking
by Kathy Bejma

Crash landing in a slimy mud hole, can sure make a rebel hungry.

When you need something portable, nutritious and delicious (R2 is lucky he doesn’t taste very good), open your tackle box, and look no further than a space food stick. They can survive all the way from the tundra’s of Hoth to the swamps of Dagobah.

It’s hard to tell what these sticks are really made of, so I decided to make them kind of like a chocolate-coated energy bar. They’ll serve you well while you’re camping out for Force Friday or waiting in line for an autograph at Star Wars Celebration.

Even though they’re not Yoda approved, they taste like something out of a dream… Or maybe I’m just going crazy.

 

Space Food Sticks

 

Makes 6 sticks

Ingredients:

·         1 cup old fashioned oats

·         1/3 cup Rice Krispies

·         1/2 cup peanut butter

·         1/2 cup ground flax seeds, or flax seed meal

·         1/3 cup honey

·         1 teaspoon cinnamon

·         1 teaspoon vanilla extract

·         1 cup chocolate chips

 

Directions:

1. In a medium-sized bowl, mix together the oats, Rice Krispies, peanut butter, flax seed meal, honey, cinnamon, and vanilla.

2. Cover and place the mixture in the fridge for about 30 minutes.

3. Once the oat mixture is chilled, take a handful and roll into little logs or stick shapes and place them on a wax or parchment paper lined baking sheet.

4. Just before your pat mixture is done cooling, place the chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl or glass.

5. Microwave at 30 second intervals, stirring after each interval until chocolate is completely melted.

6. Using the back of a spoon, paint each space food stick with melted chocolate, making sure to coat each side.

7. Place the baking sheet into the fridge and allow the chocolate to harden for about an hour.

8. Enjoy while looking for a great warrior.

 

Use The Forks! – Star Wars Cooking

USE THE FORKS!
Star Wars Cooking
by Kathy Bejma

Ahhh… Doomed romance. The cornerstone of any space opera.
Who would have thought that the love between a slave and an elected queen wouldn’t work out in the end?
He hates sand, she believes in democracy.
He wants more power over people, she’s fighting for liberty.
He gets a super sophisticated gold fake arm, and she never even gets an ultrasound from an OBGYN.
Yet we were all hoping these two crazy kids would find a way to make it work.
Too bad he choked her into unconsciousness when she was like 8 months pregnant.

But let’s focus on the happier days when Anakin and Padme first met. Stranded on Tatooine, Queen Amidala’s (familiar-looking) handmaiden, Jar Jar Binks and Qui-Gon Jinn wander into Watto’s junk shop looking for parts to repair their ship. And who do they meet? Ani, little Ani, who genuinely wants to know if Padme is an angel because they are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. Isn’t that sweet? And she wasn’t even wearing all her queen stuff!

So even though it didn’t work out so well in the end (their kids are pretty great though), here’s a recipe to commemorate happier times, and a killer opening line.
Are you an Angel… Food Cake?

Ingredients:

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
12 egg whites, room temperature
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1 1/2 teaspoons cream of tartar
Hershey’s Special Dark (side) chocolate syrup

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 325°F. Spray your Vader Pan with non-stick spray and set aside.
In a large bowl, whisk together flour and 3/4 cup of the sugar. Set aside.
In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine the egg whites, salt, vanilla and almond extracts.
Beat until the mixture is just frothy, then sprinkle the cream of tartar on top and continue beating until stiff, glossy peaks forms.
Add the remaining sugar, a little at a time and continue to beat.
Using a spatula, fold in the dry ingredients in 3 additions.
Spoon the batter into the Vader pan, leaving about 1/2 an inch from the top, and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake, comes out clean.
Remove the cake from the oven, and allow it to cool for a full hour.
After the hour is up, loosen the edges of the cake with a knife, then remove it from the pan by inverting it onto a cooling rack.
Pour a large pool of chocolate syrup in the center of the cake, and using an off-set spatula, spread the syrup all the way to the edges, allowing it to drip over the sides.
Cut into slices, and enjoy while ignoring the age difference between you and your angel.

Use The Forks! – Star Wars Cooking

USE THE FORKS!
Star Wars Cooking
by Kathy Bejma

BLUE BANTHA MILK! 

As much as I would love to drink a can of Slurm, or share a bag of Sabor de Soledad cheese puffs with Liz Lemon, I have to admit my favorite fictional food of all time is the space food of Star Wars. Luke’s space food sticks, Rey’s portion bread, and even Yoda’s swamp stew with crushed herbs on top, all look so awesome!

In an attempt to make a leap from fiction to reality, and to accompany the upcoming Blast Points episode dedicated to Aunt Beru, here’s a recipe for Blue Bantha Milk.

It’s a vanilla syrup that can be added to any milk (cow, soy, almond, cashew, etc.). Feel free to adjust the amount of syrup to fit your personal taste. Also, if you’re not a fan of vanilla you can use any other flavor extract you’d like.

Blue Bantha Milk

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1 cup water
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 12 drops blue food coloring
  • 2 cups milk (cow, soy, almond, etc.)

Directions:

  1.  In a small saucepan set over medium heat, bring sugar and water to a boil.
  2.  Allow to boil for one minute.
  3.  Remove from heat and stir in vanilla and food coloring.
  4.  Allow to cool to room temperature, then pour the syrup into a squeeze bottle or measuring cup with a spout for easier serving.
  5.  Add 3-4 Tablespoons of syrup to your favorite milk.
  6.  Enjoy while thinking up excuses to get out of next season’s harvest.